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    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
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    Top Ten Best Golf Caddie Remarks

    #10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep…
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    Labor Costs

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…
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    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Wire Backup

    One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he…
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    Seconds First

    A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.…
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    Paper Eater

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the…
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    Parrot Attitude

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…
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    Little Benny

    Little Benny came home from his first day of school and said, "Mommy, the teacher was…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…

15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."

14 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

13 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."

12 "Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"

10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."

9 "Let's see. Hardtack and pemmican. That's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

8 "Who let the dogies out?"

7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3 "Dangit, Jake, yer an enabler!"

2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

And the number 1 line you'll never hear in a Western...

1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS! Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

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