More Jokes

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    Marrying Young

    My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
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    With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge of our three energetic…
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    English Verses Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
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    Hospital Forms

    In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others…
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    Mellowing Mom

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers.One night I was chatting with my Mom…
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    Forklift Economy

    After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Dewey was hired to work in a…
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    Foreign Languages

    A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were…
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    Wimpy Dad

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into…
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    Getting Out

    During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
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    Psychology Course

    During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course…
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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
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    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…

15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."

14 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

13 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."

12 "Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"

10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."

9 "Let's see. Hardtack and pemmican. That's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

8 "Who let the dogies out?"

7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3 "Dangit, Jake, yer an enabler!"

2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

And the number 1 line you'll never hear in a Western...

1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS! Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

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