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More Jokes

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    Who Gets the Dog?

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys,…
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    Holiday Merger

    MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and…
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    Bull Healing

    A farmer asked his vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn't doing well at…
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    Stray Cat Rules

    Rules for Stray Cats 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed…
  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    New Employee Travel Policy

    Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees…
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    If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Baseball Class

    A profesor at the University of Pennsylvania was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
  • picture of a hang glider

    Zeek's Hang Glider

    In the back woods of Gooberland, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek,…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that,…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…

15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."

14 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

13 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."

12 "Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"

10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."

9 "Let's see. Hardtack and pemmican. That's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

8 "Who let the dogies out?"

7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3 "Dangit, Jake, yer an enabler!"

2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

And the number 1 line you'll never hear in a Western...

1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS! Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

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