15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."
14 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."
13 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."
12 "Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"
11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"
10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."
9 "Let's see. Hardtack and pemmican. That's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."
8 "Who let the dogies out?"
7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."
6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"
5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."
4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"
3 "Dangit, Jake, yer an enabler!"
2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."
And the number 1 line you'll never hear in a Western...
1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS! Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"