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  • crowd1

    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Lion Tamer

    A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.…
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    Give It A Try

    Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. Keep going!…
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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…
  • milk2

    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    Proper Attire

    Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that…
  • doctor4

    Second Opinion

    A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattled…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…
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    Boss and E-Mail

    I used to work for a multimillion dollar consulting firm doing desktop support. The…
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    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
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    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…

After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings.  In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her funeral service.  Along with the suggestions for Scripture readings and music were the following orders:

"There will be no male pallbearers.  Since they wouldn't take me out when I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

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