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More Jokes

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    Army Fib

    While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old…
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    Cat Joke

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    Dinosaur Highway

    A goober was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the…
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    Buffalo Comments

    Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, "Those are the…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
  • boy

    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
  • warning sign clown

    Wacky Warnings

    Here are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by…
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    Social Showdown

    Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a…
  • public speaking

    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…

 

-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars.

-- The bill came with payment coupons.

-- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.

-- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"

-- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.

-- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray.

-- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.

-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.

-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"

-- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing:

"We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."

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