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More Jokes

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    "Not" Working

    Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown,…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Fishing Advice

    Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    Seeing Eye Dog

    A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
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    Last Words Heard

    3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all…
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    Tennis Ball Lesson

    A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each…
  • A young boy watches his dad help birth a calf.

    Calf Birth

    A man was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing…
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    How Hot Is It?

    How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The…
  • hawaii

    Hawaii or Havaii

    These two persons are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced 'Havaii,' or…
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    Goober In Library

    A goober walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
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    Chain Fired

    A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the…

 

-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars.

-- The bill came with payment coupons.

-- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.

-- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"

-- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.

-- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray.

-- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.

-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.

-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"

-- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing:

"We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."

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