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More Jokes

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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
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    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    Age

    When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
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    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
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    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
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    Found Purse

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Sermon Interpretation

    One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her…
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    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
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    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…

 

-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars.

-- The bill came with payment coupons.

-- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.

-- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"

-- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.

-- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray.

-- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.

-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.

-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"

-- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing:

"We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."

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