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More Jokes

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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
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    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Orchestra Note

    While a famous orchestra was on tour, the conductor found this note under his hotel room…
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    Three-Sixty 727

    The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a…
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    Sermon Follow-Up

    A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To…
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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    The Flu Do-Si-Do

    Flu season will be here soon. Here's a square dance you can call when it does.The Flu…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Finishing

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So…
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    Riding With Grandma

    One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…

 

-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars.

-- The bill came with payment coupons.

-- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.

-- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"

-- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.

-- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray.

-- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.

-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.

-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"

-- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing:

"We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."

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