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    Low 80's Golf

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…
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    Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

    1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.2.…
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    The FBI Orders Pizza

    FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under…
  • doctor3

    Doctor's Writing

    Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?…
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    The Power of Government

    Pythagorean theorem : 24 WordsThe Lord's Prayer : 66 WordsArchimedes' Principle : 67…
  • picture of mom and child

    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
  • plane war

    Commando Moses

    Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well,…
  • boy soccerball

    Welcome to the Neighborhood

    A family who had just moved into a new neighborhood was anxious to make a good…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Farewell Luncheon

    The staff at the office where my wife works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a…
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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
  • bank

    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in. One robber rushes the teller windows,…
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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…

(17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up".

(16) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

(15) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

(14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.  Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

(13) If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.

(12) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

(11) We put the "k" in "kwality".

(10) 2 days without a human rights violation.

(9) Your job is STILL better than asking "You want fries with that?".

(8) We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any reason to call in sick.

(7) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

(6) Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

(5) The beatings will continue until morale improves.

(4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork.  Words we use to get you to work for free.

(3) If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.

(2) Plagiarism saves time...

And The #1 Inspirational Message Never Heard At Work:

(1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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