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More Jokes

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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
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    Politically Correct Light Bulb

    "How many politically-correct people does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" "Look, I…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Actual Church Signs

    Reported to be actual church signs.... 1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    The Next One

    After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
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    New Golfer

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Ticket Excuse

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    World's Easiest Test

    Here is the world's easiest test. You should be able to get 100% on this one. 1. How long…

(17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up".

(16) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

(15) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

(14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.  Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

(13) If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.

(12) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

(11) We put the "k" in "kwality".

(10) 2 days without a human rights violation.

(9) Your job is STILL better than asking "You want fries with that?".

(8) We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any reason to call in sick.

(7) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

(6) Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

(5) The beatings will continue until morale improves.

(4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork.  Words we use to get you to work for free.

(3) If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.

(2) Plagiarism saves time...

And The #1 Inspirational Message Never Heard At Work:

(1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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