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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
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    Last One Comeback

    A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked,…
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    The Night Before Y2K

    'Twas the night before New Year,and all through the nation,We awaited Y2K,the millennium…
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    Employee Gift

    A new pastor, eager to make sure the church's employees would like him, called them…
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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
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    Awake Tip

    Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat…
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    Dextrocardia Question

    I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…

(17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up".

(16) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

(15) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

(14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.  Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

(13) If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.

(12) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

(11) We put the "k" in "kwality".

(10) 2 days without a human rights violation.

(9) Your job is STILL better than asking "You want fries with that?".

(8) We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any reason to call in sick.

(7) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

(6) Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

(5) The beatings will continue until morale improves.

(4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork.  Words we use to get you to work for free.

(3) If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.

(2) Plagiarism saves time...

And The #1 Inspirational Message Never Heard At Work:

(1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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