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    If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
  • woman desk

    The Importance of Correct Punctuation

    We've all been told how important it is to use correct punctuation. Well, here is a…
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    Car 34

    A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner…
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    Kissing Son

    I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and…
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    Paid To Worry

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he…
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    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along

    (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland") Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
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    Cell Phone Find

    An employee of the airport found a cell phone in one of the boarding areas. She switched…

(17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up".

(16) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

(15) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

(14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.  Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

(13) If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.

(12) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

(11) We put the "k" in "kwality".

(10) 2 days without a human rights violation.

(9) Your job is STILL better than asking "You want fries with that?".

(8) We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any reason to call in sick.

(7) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

(6) Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

(5) The beatings will continue until morale improves.

(4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork.  Words we use to get you to work for free.

(3) If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.

(2) Plagiarism saves time...

And The #1 Inspirational Message Never Heard At Work:

(1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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