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  • school house

    Homework Policy

    Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Cooking Terms

    *Cooking Terms*Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the…
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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
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    The Hokey Pokey

    *The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot…
  • A picture of genetically modified corn

    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
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    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    The Patch

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his…
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    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
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    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
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    Attendance Sermons

    A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :

1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California & then take the train to Hawaii ?"

3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts."

Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in South Africa."

Her response was "click".

4. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He Replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

5. I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?"

I said, "No."

He said, "But they look so close on the Map."

6. Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

7. A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of Time zones.

Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

8. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who ?"

I said, "No, why do you ask?"

She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection ?"

After putting her on hold for a minute while "I looked into it," (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained that the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

9. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these stupid planes have numbers on them."

10. A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes."

I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane.

She said, "Yeah, whatever."

11. A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.

"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."

I double-checked and sure enough, his stay needs a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

12. A woman called to make reservations.

"I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York."

The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."

The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

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