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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Milkman Notes

    These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing…
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    Goober Farmers

    There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by the Forman…
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    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
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    Funny Police Quotes

    Funny Police Quotes "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Really Impressed

    As a psychologist, my first job was working in a small clinic. One of my patients was a…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    Shoe Follow

    Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.

After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time.

"But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

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