• Dog New Year's ResolutionsI will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV.
  • I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the backyard with it.
  • I will not chew red crayons or pens because my master will think that I am hemorrhaging.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house.