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Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public.  So, when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?"

"I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home, I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package, but no one was home.  I'll have you know, my husband was in all morning!  He never heard a thing!"

After apologizing, I got her parcel.

"Oh good!" she gushed.  "We've been waiting for this for ages!"

"What is it?" I asked.

"My husband's new hearing aid."

I think most of the noise in this video is swearing in cat language. However, this cat clearly speaks a bit of English as it protests "I'm wet".

Like that's pretty deep man!

 

A Funny Church Sign


Issue # 3346

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, chicken Thursday! Yeah, I know it's Wednesday but if you knew how much I like that commercial you'd understand.

Speaking of days, do you remember what Sunday is? That's right, it's Mother's Day. Why not get a jump on getting her a really nice, sentimental, make mom feel like a million bucks recession friendly gift by sending her a Smilebox Mother's Day card

.

Here's what's new since the last Cybersalt Digest went out.

Sometimes church signs state the obvious and other times they miss it at the same time. You'll see what I mean at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/4343

If you like angry camels, jumping kittens, or motivational raps, you'll be glad to catch up on the the latest FunBlog additions at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/funblog

Rev. James Snyder is noticing his wife's "honey do" list while "Keeping an Eye on the end of the Trail" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/featured-blogs/gods-penman/4339

And finally - I don't want you to think I'm desperate to be liked, but the fact remains that I like to be liked and its now easier to like Cybersalt by simply clicking on the Facebook icon below.

I hope you enjoy the rest of today's Cybersalt Digest!


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Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Late at Walmart"

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

''Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces.

What did they say if you came in late there?"

''They said, 'Good morning, General, can I get you coffee, sir?'''

You can rate this joke at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/4342


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Today's CleanPun - April Showers

We all know that April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!


Today's One Liner

"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out."


Today's CleanQuote

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." - Charles Caleb Colton


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Today's Illustration - "Changing Times"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies.

One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.

I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'"

He got his new dictionary.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/rdvote.htm

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

''Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces.

What did they say if you came in late there?"

''They said, 'Good morning, General, can I get you coffee, sir?'''

Subcategories

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Our collection of puns.

Our collection of funny signs.

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

A great collection of one liners!

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

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