Entertainment

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While working at Baskin-Robbins, I helped a woman, who was full of questions about the flavors and types available, pick out an ice-cream cake.

As I was boxing it up for her, she had one last question:

"How long do I bake this?"

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Computer One-liners - Part 1

Hard Disk space: the final frontier!

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.

I am logged in, therefore I am.

I are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.

I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse on my PC.

I was going to switch her to DOS, but she had a gun

I'll give up my Windows 3.1 when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed

Intel - still number 0.999873464508.

Details
Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".   

Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.   

He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it.  All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX', but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..."   

Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name."

Details
1.  All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.

2.  All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3.  The I.D.  (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4.  All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5.  All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B.  Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe.  If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.

6.  All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.

7.  Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.

8.  All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.

9.  Flanges must be used on all pipe.  Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10.  When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11.  Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe.  If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

12.  All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.

Details
Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late 80's she certainly still had the ability to clearly say what was on her mind.

This was the first dinner on my sister's beautiful new dining room furniture. As we all sat enjoying good food and conversation Mom kept squirming in her chair. Finally, my sister asked, "Are you alright? Are you uncomfortable?"

Without looking up from her dinner Mom replied, "No, the chair is."
  1. Power Lesson
  2. Sister Repair
  3. Newborn Utterance
  4. The Front Fell Off

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Clean Jokes Article Count:  3612

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

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It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

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Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

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Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

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Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

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catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  541

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

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Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

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Clean Puns Article Count:  1873

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1928

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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