Sometimes I use words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis.
A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors.
"They started to jump up and down on the floor at five o'clock in the morning!"
His friend asked, "Well, didn't that disturb you? Didn't you complain?"
"No, it didn't disturb me. I was practicing my trumpet."
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
-- Gallagher
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Sunday greetings, everyone - and welcome to July!
I had two old fillings replaced this past week at the dentist. They were cracking, which is not surprising because I think they have been in my mouth since my early teens and in that time I have done a lot of talking and chewing (at the same time on some occasions.) That is a lot of use and wear and tear.
A few days after my appointment, I received a survey asking for feedback about my experience. The dentist office I go to is really good so I was able to answer many of the questions with 10 out of 10 (How was the welcome? How long was the time in the waiting room? How was the dentist?)
But when they asked me to rank how comfortable I was during the appointment, I had to laugh. I don't care how good you are, if you stick needles in my gums, drill holes in my head, leave half my face numb for hours, and my moustache smelling of burnt tooth smoke for the rest of the day, the best I can give you is a 5 (which is what I did with that explanation.)
Part of me wishes I will be sent a similar survey after my next colonoscopy - that would be fun to give feedback about!
Today's video is a fun story about a woman and her "Suddenly Cactus!"
Click here to watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what seemed like forever, they finally came to a city.
When they saw a gentleman on the sidewalk they pulled up to the curb and the lady wound down her window and asked: "Excuse me, sir. Where are we?"
The gentleman replied, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."
The woman rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said,
"We really are lost. They don't even speak English here!"
People are so judgmental - I can tell just by looking at them.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I told a joke on a zoom meeting, but nobody laughed.
Turns out I'm not remotely funny.
"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success."
- Unknown
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When it comes to words, everybody has their own definition.
Someone says one word and another person thinks it's altogether something else. For example, when someone says "vegetable," The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage thinks broccoli. On the other side of the dinner table, I think carrot cake. We have never been able to come together on this word. I often get in trouble when at a restaurant. The waitress comes to take our order, then looks at me and asks what vegetable I wanted. I reply, "I'll have carrot cake for my vegetable today."
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I told a joke on a zoom meeting, but nobody laughed.
Turns out I'm not remotely funny.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
