Inspiration

My three year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly about it.

One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny. So, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter. She was clean.

Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said "No."

I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident," and I didn't have any clothes with me. Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?"

"Whatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your god."

- Martin Luther

"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster."

"NO!" said the horse, "I said 'feedbag' not 'feedback'."

The Game Warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license.

"This is last year's license," the warden informed him.

"I know," said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new license. I am only shooting at the deer I missed last year."