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Hall of Flames

Hall of Flames - Pastor Tim's Hate MailThe world (and unfortunately some churches) have many discontented people and spiritual bullies. So when you try to uplift, entertain and encourage people, (and maybe even make them laugh) it only stands to reason that every now and then someone is going to go off the deep end on you. On the internet that deep end usually manifests itself through a vitrious and gall filled e-mail sent so the author can get his/her jollies by blasting you (otherwise known as a "flame").

Here is a collection of some of the more entertaining flames I have received. Don't worry about me. I've been around enough to know that such people come with the territory. Only, my approach is different that most other's. Most usually just get quiet or apologize in order to either placate the flamer and avoid getting burned up totally.

Me, I'd rather have a good laugh at their expense (after all I didn't make them type what they typed) and, in the case where they may attend the church I pastor, tell them to straighten up or go find another church to wreck.

Nobody eats sheep while this shepherd is on duty!

Jessica wrote:

Dear Tim,

I Don't like what your sending me so BACK OFF!!

You are an idoit!!!!

From Jessie

I replied:

Dear Jessica, I've removed you from my lists. BTW, "Idoit" is spelled "idiot". (Thanks for the laugh.)

 

Pastor Tim
In respose to my devotional "Entertainment vs. Safety" Tony wrote:

Pastor Tim,

Wish you had harped a bit on the possible dire consequences of anyone removing an airbag just for gratification of "self-pleasurings".

I'm unsubscribing from this Digest now, by the way, because you have failed to show the compassion incumbent on a true pastor of the flock.

Or maybe, to you (and many other insensitive Americans like you) only issues that directly impact the USA are worthy of concern...in which case I, an African in Africa, should expect nothing but generalised "soul-less" platitudes from you in the event of our experiencing any disasters...since you've remained (at least in your publications to date!) impervious even to the terror of 7/7 London.

Remain blessed, and may God lead you aright.

Shalom!!!

My Reply:

In response to the funny picture I posted at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/04/grandmaslots.htm

The following entry was submitted to my guestbook (I've used their initials so they don't totally fall out of their tree):

You claim to be a Christian but yet post a picture calling it humor of your grandmother in front of a slot machine in Las Vegas.  Tsk ..tsk.  What a mixed message that brings.  I could quote you a number of scriptures but you're probably one of those "liberal" Christians that says "it ain't harming no one but Granny ..  and that's only if she loses money ..  it's the only thing she enjoys since Grandpa dies." Gambling is a SIN!  You're telling people on a CHRISTIAN website that it's OKAY to gamble.  Wo...

- M. L.

On July 14, 2004, I missed a vulgar word in the PearlyGates item I sent out.

To apologize and clarify, I sent out the following note (be aware that the missed word appears in print twice below).

Pastor Tim Wrote:

Dear PearlyGates Subscribers,

Well, imagine my surprise at the end of the day, just when I went to send out another day’s posts, that I had a bunch of e-mails concerned about a word in one of my mailings. My first thought? – “Man, what did I miss this time?” So, to varying degrees and to different kinds of people I offer the following (in the pseudo-comedic form of Craig Kilborn's “To Blank With Love.”

In Response to the following CleanQuote:

Great philosophical sayings:

"Know Thyself." - Plato

"I yam what I yam." - Popeye

K.H. wrote,

Dear Pastor Tim:
 
No disrespect but your quote by Popeye below is blasphemous.

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