"Sada'am?  This here's Cooter over here in Arkansas.  I am callin' long distance to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Cooter," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news!  Tell me, how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," said Cooter after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Bubba, my next door neighbor Jr, and the town's entire gun club........  that makes 8!"

Saddam sighed.  "I must tell you Cooter, that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Sheooooot!", said Cooter, "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day Cooter rang back.  "OK Mr. Hoossayne, the war is still on!  We managed to get some extry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Cooter?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we got 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Jr's tractor from his farm."

Once more Saddam sighed.  "I must tell you, Cooter, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."

"Tarnation!" said Cooter, "I'll have to get back witcha!"

Sure enough, Cooter rang again the next day.  "OK Mr.  Bigshot, the war is still on!  We managed to get airborne!
We've modified Bubba's ultra-light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the volunteer fire department has joined us too!"

Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed.  "I must tell you Cooter, that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."

"Good gosh a'mighty!", said Cooter, "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, Cooter called again the next day.  "OK Mr. Sada'am, I am sorry to tell you that we had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam.  "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Cooter "We all talked about it, and figured out that there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."