Monthly Archive

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 23138 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2118
<1min

Driving Pun 1

My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, "Take it, Max," as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wag... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3160
<1min

Driving Pun 2

People say I drive like lightning, not because I drive fast but because I hit trees.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5529
<1min

Driving Pun 3

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, two policemen came by. While one pulled the gentleman over, the second carefully stop... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2965
<1min

Drug Pun

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent? The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit formin... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2389
<1min

E-mail Warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it. It's just Spam.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5054
<1min

Edison Pun

Most people don't know that Thomas Alva Edison was among the first to show concern for western Indians. He came out to California, and finding living conditions among natives deplorable, he vowed to h... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2783
<1min

Egg Pun

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2761
<1min

Eight Ball

"I wonder why I always feel that I'm stuck right behind the eight ball?" Tom said racking his brain. ~Simon Champion read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2598
<1min

Einstein Burger

"Have you been to that new 'Einstein Burger' yet?" "Why yes I have." "How was it?" "Relatively good." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2411
<1min

Electrician's Truck

Seen on an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2575
<1min

Electronic Shows

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age: Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won't eve... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2395
<1min

Elephant Pun 1

How do you get down off of an elephant? You don't, you get down off of a duck.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
8281
<1min

Elephant Pun 2

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. "Why did you do that?" asks a passing ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6357
<1min

Elephant Stew Pun

Elephant Stew Recipe 2 Rabbits (Optional) 1 Elephant, Medium Size Salt & Pepper to taste Brown Gravy Cut elephant into small bite-sized pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough brown grav... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5199
<1min

Embalming Fluid

Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid. It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly but there was still a good portion left for M... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3253
2 min read

Entomologist Tenure

It had been a horrible week for Henry. An entomologist (insect scientist) at the local university, he was up for a promotion this year. With the promotion would come tenure. But there was a problem. I... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3131
<1min

Equestrian Pun

At the Olympics in Barcelona, some of the locals were entered in equestrian events. Other contestants were surprised to note that the Spanish riders guided their horses with so much slack in the reins... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5997
<1min

Escalator

My wife recently came home from shopping with an escalator. She'll buy anything marked down!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4853
<1min

Eskimo Dinner

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner? "Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
10462
<1min

Eskimo Pun

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3268
<1min

Ethical Question

"Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of of the USA founding fathers, create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park called Clonial Williamsburg?" read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2595
<1min

Everything

Q. What do you give a man who has everything? A. Antibiotics.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2992
<1min

Excavating Burial Ground

Two women archeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum. Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decompose... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2497
<1min

Family Furniture

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back. What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family? Out of ideas, h... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4863
<1min

Fan Pun

While I was in the Air Force in Vietnam, I was in charge of a parts supply depot where the only relief from the heat was provided by an electric fan in my office. One morning I accidentally caught my ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2942
<1min

Farmer Loses 2025 Pigs

Howard County police officers still write their reports by hand. The data is entered later into their database by a clerk. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
16527
<1min

Fate Pun

"Oh, master...tell me of fate." "Ah, my son...it is what has brought great nations together. It has made the world a smaller place in which to live. It has inspired men of worth to work endless hours. read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2839
<1min

Feeding

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?" "Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say." "Well then, I read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2688
<1min

Fight

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3333
<1min

Fine Furniture

As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction, "That table goes b... read more..