Monthly Archive

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 23138 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7646
<1min

Gland Pun

Little is known about the salivary glands because they are so secretive.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2572
<1min

Goat Junk

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the f... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2409
<1min

Golden Years

"Ah, the golden years. When actions creak louder than words." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2284
<1min

Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I d... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2475
<1min

Golf Tomatoes

"I don't want to say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4746
<1min

Gone Pun

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?", he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day, the collector t... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6058
<1min

Gossip

A gossip is someone with a great "sense of rumor."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2837
<1min

Grade Pun

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. "Aw, Mom," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet." "What do you mean 'all wet?'" "You k... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2289
<1min

Grapes

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2312
<1min

Gravity

Gravity always gets me down.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5436
<1min

Grenade

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2614
<1min

Grizzly Pun

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mo... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2548
<1min

Grocery Pun

Grocery clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2453
<1min

Gross Ignoramus

A gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3355
<1min

Guide Names

My husband was telling colleagues about his involvement with our local YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses programs. His Indian name was Walking Deer, he told them. Our daughter was Little Fawn, ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2725
<1min

Hair Pun

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3089
<1min

Hamlet

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia, 'I'll draw a sketch of thee, What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?'" 'Hamlet' by Spike Milligan read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6374
<1min

Happy as a Clam

Then there is researcher Peter Fong, who has given new meaning to the expression "happy as a clam." The Gettysburg College biologist stumbled onto the fact that molluscs reproduce at 10 times their no... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2578
<1min

Happy Cows

Farmer Jones's cows had recently stopped giving good milk. So, he went around asking for advice, and someone told him that happy cows give good milk. Every morning he would go out and tell some jokes ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
20231
<1min

Hay Pun

Needless to say, one of the most successful inventors of all time was the man who invented the hay-bailing machine. He made a bundle.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3137
<1min

He/She Became

He became a realtor because he had lots on his mind. She became a pharmacist because she was a real pill. He became an expolorer because he wanted to find himself. She became a baker because she loved... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
10031
<1min

Headache Pun

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6619
<1min

Hellman's Mayo

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cr... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2502
<1min

Hereafter

"These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4792
<1min

Heredity

"The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth. Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression." - Robert Benchley read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2535
<1min

High School Math

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statisti... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2357
<1min

HMO Plans

"The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns -- you only think you're covered." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2214
<1min

Hobby Books

BAND PLAYING by Clara Nett JAZZ MUSIC by Tenna Saxe CUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. Behr THE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace Cope SCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3288
<1min

Holiday Pun

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while late... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2546
<1min

Home Pun

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.... read more..