Monthly Archive

September 2016

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 122 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
FunBlog
Pastor Tim
2047

Spinning Top in a Vacuum Chamber

Nature, dogs, and many husbands abhor a vacuum. But, it seems that spinning tops love them. ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1821

"I Do" Suggestion

Position on Proposals: Getting down on one knee can be very engaging.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2042

Abuse of the Courts

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?" "How should I know?" the ma... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5935

On The Ball Mechanic

My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he hea... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1374

One-liner #1125

I know a lot about cars; I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. - Mitch Hedberg... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
936

Cybersalt News - September 16, 2016

A lot of kids are calmed by farm animals - others not so much. You'll find "Horse Scare" (I know, it's not a horse) at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-horse-pictures/horse-scare Enjoy the rest of today's mai... read more..

Funny Horse Pictures
Pastor Tim
2592

Horse Scare

The counselor suggested giving Jimmy to a nice quiet day at the farm. ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1737

Job Market Survey

Surveying the job market: Look for a plumb assignment hanging weights from a string.... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1618

Quote #1572

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."   - Barnett R. Brickner read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2206

Barber Job Description

He prunes the foliage on your headAnd trims around the earSo you will look respectableWherever you appear. With special shears he thins your hairThen washes it with soapOr uses some restoring stuffTo... read more..

Clean Jokes
6851

Packing

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Ha... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1458

One-liner #1124

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
924

Cybersalt News - September 15, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Mothers of twins have their hands full. Sometimes their husbands only add to the chaos. You'll see why in "Twins' Doctor Apointment" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/twi... read more..

Funny Pictures
Pastor Tim
3412

Twins' Doctor Apointment

That was the day Julie asked Dan to take the twins to the doctor.... read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
2958

Mabel's Aid

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Ma... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1471

Hard to Explain

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1987

Quote #1571

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." Psalm 145:13b read more..

Clean Jokes
3549

Cry On for Crayons

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2272

Sovereignty and Wisdom of God

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous la... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1559

One-liner #1123

"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
978

Cybersalt News - September 14, 2016

There is a new FunBlog entry today. You can watch "Tripal Spiral Dominoes" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/triple-spiral-dominoes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

FunBlog
Pastor Tim
2038

Triple Spiral Dominoes

We like watching dominoes falling as much as most average people, but this tripal spiral of 15,000 dominoes sure dialed our enjoyment up a notch! ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1632

Toy Return

"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?" "Aisle B, back." read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1588

Quote #1570

"Don't bother to give God instructions; just report for duty." - Corrie Ten Boom read more..

Clean Jokes
4199

Listening In

A long time ago, before the days of cell phones, I needed to call home, and the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2076

Housecleaning Philosophy

I don't do windows because...I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because...I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terribl... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1475

One-liner #1122

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; depends on how much happiness you can handle. -George Burns... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
927

Cybersalt News - September 13, 2016

Yes, there were no mailings on the weekend and Monday. Since my sabbatical ended I've been *trying* to maintain healthier hours. That and a change in my sermon preparation habits combined to bump thos... read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
3243

Blind Soccer

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game".  They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice i... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
1856

Pardon My French, S'il Vous Plaît

When I was young, a saying went around, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me.” Supposedly it was to make me ignore people saying nasty things about me. For the mos... read more..

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