Rednecks are not just for Jeff Foxworthy anymore. We have-em right here in the Back Pew too.
Ok, don't think I am talkin' bout dem snake handler churches. Ok, dem too but there are more to us Redneck believers than handlin' snakes. Most every small town has a Redneck flavor to it and in my opinion Redneck Faith is a great way to go.
From the pulpit to the pew you will find beautiful believers who are unabashadly Rednecked, lookin' good and feelin' fine. A Redneck church you will be gittin' that old time religion where we sing hymns and gospel folk songs all while pickin on a banjo. A Redneck church you will hear a brother shoutin' Hal-A-loo-ya and maybe pass the grits in the same sentence.
Redneck believers are God fearin' people who the city folk think are a bit rough around the edges, but in reply Rednecks will just smile and say thank you very much.
In a Redneck church the men are men but the woman can change tires too. They smile cuz city men folk look a bit sissified and the women are believed to be all feminist man haters. To this observation they simply sing along with John (Denver) Thank God I'm a country boy. City women seem to believe much to the amusement in a Redneck church.. 'that men and women are the same'. Heck, just by looking at the pinup calendar at Rusty's local garage and fillin station any Redneck will tell ya men and women are different and YA-HOO thank you Jesus for the difference.
Also, it is important to know Redneck believers BELIEVE in Heaven and BELIEVE in Hell. It's all up to a fella's choosin' if he wants to go up or he wants to go down.
Live by the following basic rules..
- Believe in Jesus,
- love God,
- be kind to yer neighbors (even the McCoys if yer a Hatfield) and
- stay away from MY DAUGHTER!
and you too will some day enter dem Pearly Gates once your Ford Pickup and you .. 'won't start'. Many Redneck Believers believe in Purgatory as a place between this life on Earth and Heaven that a fella resides in whilst his Ford pickup still turns over and his huntin' dog still wakes up from his frequent naps.
For those of you nar-do-well Rednecks who
- drink 'shine' instead of gittin oft ta work,
- men who cover their heads in church against the scripture
- for those prodigals who would rather sleep with the hogs than come back home to yer daddy
- and for those who DIDN'T SAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER
you gits to go to the other place where it's hotter than the flame under old man Turley's still. You know H--E-- double hockey sticks!
It is a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth or as city folk like to joke weeping and gnashing of TOOTH.
This underworld is resided by a dark an ominous creature. Some people call him the boogy man, but in Reckneck churches he goes by the name of BeelzeBUBBA... the Lord who attracts flies.
But back to them good church goin, Rednecked, God fearin' folk. They believe in Jesus, they believe in grace, good preachin, good music (banjo is the instrument of choice), tent revivals, and communion with the saints. Casual dress is welcome.
Bottomline Redneck believers welcome all. They believe in this life and the next..
This page of christian cartoons features redneck images and thoughts with the Christian faith being honored Redneck style