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    The Tie

    A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Dinosaur Highway

    A goober was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • computer keyboard

    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Airline Rage

    As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next…
  • father's day triplets

    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
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    10 Questions

    Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who…
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    Stray Cat Rules

    Rules for Stray Cats 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed…
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    Pull Over

    "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day…
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    Telephone Answering Ordeal

    A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!

FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot

GM
General Maintenance
Got Mistakes

GMC
Garage Man`s Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else

HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing`s Driveable And Inexpensive

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Virtually Worthless

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