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More Jokes

  • deer

    Hunting Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Diary Secrets

    A little boy asked his mother, "What's that you're reading?"A diary.What's in it?I can't…
  • Picture of the Texas flag

    Texan Expressions

    For fun, try to use at least two of these in at work today. *A guide to a few of the more…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
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    Farming Dream

    The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a prospective student,…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    I Think Not

    I do not think -- therefore I am not.Here is the illustration of this principle:One…
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    George W. meets Moses

    George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a…
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    Needle Manners

    While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving…
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    Wallet Tip

    Leaving a plush night club one evening, a miserly gentleman walked past the doorman…
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    Soup Objects

    The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
  • Easter bunny

    Easter Bunny Pun

    A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping…
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    Station Help

    An elderly man was standing in front of the ticket office in Grand Central Station. A…

Another true life story for the Funnies...

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time.  He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on.  Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place.  Having arrived late, the church was already packed.  The only pew left was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate.  He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew.  As they sang, the man clapped his hands, so the missionary recruit clapped too.  When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too.  When the man sat down, he sat down.  When the man held the cup and bread for the Lord's Supper, he held the cup and bread.  During the preaching, the recruit didn't understand a thing.  He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front pew.

Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements.  People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping.  He was, and so the recruit clapped too.  Then the preacher said some words that he didn't understand and he saw the man next to him stand up.  So he stood up too. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation.  A few people gasped.  He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing.  So he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving.  When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in English: "I take it you don't speak Spanish."

The missionary recruit replied: "No I don't.  It's that obvious?"

"Well yes," said the preacher, "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy and would the proud father please stand up."

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