logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Gripe Comments

After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines) which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
  • Default Image

    Crowded Bus

    It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my…
  • pig

    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
  • Default Image

    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
  • Default Image

    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
  • Default Image

    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
  • Default Image

    Vice President of Peas

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
  • chickens

    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
  • couple argue

    5 Toughest Questions Women Ask Men

    1. What are you thinking about?2. Do you love me?3. Do I look fat?4. Do you think she is…
  • Default Image

    Skiing Experience

    Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.10. Visit your…
  • Default Image

    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
  • Default Image

    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Report

    "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife."Just fine until I asked the bride if…
  • Default Image

    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
  • Default Image

    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…