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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
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    Oil Spill

    After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of…
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    Who's The Expert?

    On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars…
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    If Airlines Sold Paint

    Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot…
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    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    Two Feet

    A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    Shirt Note

    The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a lady-killer, and was delighted to find a note…
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    Diary

    Linda: "What's that you're reading?"Jill: "A diary."Linda: What's in it?Jill: "I can't…
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    Grandma and God

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are…
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    Life After Death

    "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir."…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…

While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they approached, I commented on how romantic it was.

He replied, "We have been holding hands when we go out in public for over thirty years. I have to. If I let go, she shops."

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