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More Jokes

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    Stuffed Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his…
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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Clean Cup

    Bill and Doug went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    A Deeper Problem

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    New Convert Help

    He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently…
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    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…
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    Investments

    STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will…
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    Crocheted Dolls

    There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had…
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    Kids In Church

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.…
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    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…
  • chocolate chip cookies

    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…

How To Please Your I.T. Department

[A quick check list for those who need to make contact.]

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support.

There's electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least

20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

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