logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

How To Please Your I.T. Department

How To Please Your I.T. Department

[A quick check list for those who need to make contact.]

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support.

There's electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least

20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    The Verge

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"One child…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Report

    "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife."Just fine until I asked the bride if…
  • Default Image

    Things Overheard on Noah's Ark

    10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"9. "Hey, there are more than…
  • Default Image

    Dads

    My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my…
  • puddle

    Country Puddle

    A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the…
  • Default Image

    Drug Store Questions

    Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married.…
  • Default Image

    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
  • chicken cooked

    Chicken Recipe

    Baked Stuffed Chicken 6-7 lb. chicken1 cup melted butter1 cup stuffing1 cup uncooked…
  • Default Image

    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…
  • Default Image

    Great Writing

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great…
  • college Mount Union College Ohio

    Daughter In College

    Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay…
  • Default Image

    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
  • Default Image

    The Day Before

    Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles his…
  • Default Image

    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…