logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATURE

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount."

I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.
He said, "For you, Seniors, the coffee is free."

Understand---I'm not old---I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer---can't hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt.),
and my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray...saying "blond" is just right.

My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed.
Yet a kid yells, "Old duffer...get off of the road!"
My car has no scratches...not even a dent.
Still I get all that guff from a punk who's "Hell bent."

My friends all get older...much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines," not wrinkles...for sure,
But don't call me old...just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take...your breath all away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.

But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure,
I'm not really old...I'm only mature.

~Author Unknown
Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Bloopers in the Media

    "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange…
  • Default Image

    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…
  • Default Image

    Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office…
  • Default Image

    Waking Up Grumpy

    A marriage counsellor was attempting to find out something about his patient's attitude…
  • Default Image

    Neighborhood Explosion

    The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As shopkeepers ran outside to see what…
  • Default Image

    Klopman Diamond

    A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the…
  • Default Image

    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
  • Default Image

    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
  • Default Image

    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
  • Default Image

    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
  • Default Image

    Cleaning Instructions

    I bought a great new toilet seat recently.On the label was a suggestion on how to clean…
  • Default Image

    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…
  • Default Image

    One Parachute

    You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How…
  • Default Image

    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
  • rock

    Glacier Work

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…