logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATURE

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount."

I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.
He said, "For you, Seniors, the coffee is free."

Understand---I'm not old---I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer---can't hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt.),
and my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray...saying "blond" is just right.

My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed.
Yet a kid yells, "Old duffer...get off of the road!"
My car has no scratches...not even a dent.
Still I get all that guff from a punk who's "Hell bent."

My friends all get older...much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines," not wrinkles...for sure,
But don't call me old...just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take...your breath all away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.

But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure,
I'm not really old...I'm only mature.

~Author Unknown
Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • tie

    Tie Conspiracy

    At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that…
  • Default Image

    Starting To Date

    Alan asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Steve. What are you…
  • Default Image

    Jeep Stuck

    During training exercises, the green lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road. He…
  • Default Image

    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
  • Default Image

    Seatmate Choice

    The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to…
  • Default Image

    Sleep Motivation

    An older man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a…
  • Default Image

    Pick a Hymn

    One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and…
  • puddle

    Country Puddle

    A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the…
  • man grumpy

    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
  • Default Image

    Facilities Memo

    My colleagues and I recently received this email from the facilities department:"Due to…
  • Default Image

    Where's Mommy

    One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he…
  • Default Image

    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
  • Default Image

    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
  • Default Image

    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
  • Default Image

    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…