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    Car Recognition

    A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a…
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    The Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    How Does This Work?

    Bob was on vacation, visiting a Las Vegas casino for the first time. He decided to play…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…
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    Sign Return

    I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo.One…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Sick Call

    Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would…
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    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
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    IRS Audit

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    Computer Help Desk

    Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are…
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    Feeding the Baby

    My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…

Old world charm ............. No bath

Tropical .................... Rainy

Majestic setting ............ A long way from town

Options galore .............. Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ........... Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms ........ Already occupied

Explore on your own ......... Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts .... They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees ............... No extras

Nominal fee ................. Outrageous charge

Standard .................... Sub-standard

Deluxe ...................... Standard

Superior .................... One free shower cap

Cozy ........................ Small

All the amenities ........... Two free shower caps

Plush ....................... Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes .............. Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy .............. No air conditioning

Picturesque ................. Theme park nearby

Concierge ................... Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast ....... Free muffin

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