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    Turkey Hotline

    TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how…
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    Out of this World Restaurant (groaner)

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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    Women Drivers

    *Women Drivers* (Don't judge a joke by it's title)Driving to town this morning on the…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Sidewalk Preacher

    A sidewalk preacher stood on a soapbox downtown and started a rousing sermon on…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Waiting For A Table

    When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up…
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    The Littlest Informant

    As a recently divorced police officer, and new to the dating scene, I was thrilled but…
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    Sunday School Trap

    The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
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    Office Hours

    "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Sweat Her Choice

    My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The next time we visited, I made sure…
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    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her…

Old world charm ............. No bath

Tropical .................... Rainy

Majestic setting ............ A long way from town

Options galore .............. Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ........... Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms ........ Already occupied

Explore on your own ......... Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts .... They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees ............... No extras

Nominal fee ................. Outrageous charge

Standard .................... Sub-standard

Deluxe ...................... Standard

Superior .................... One free shower cap

Cozy ........................ Small

All the amenities ........... Two free shower caps

Plush ....................... Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes .............. Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy .............. No air conditioning

Picturesque ................. Theme park nearby

Concierge ................... Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast ....... Free muffin

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