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More Jokes

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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    Overheard At The Cemetery

    These two boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree. Out of sight, they…
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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
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    Horseshoe Look

    One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing…
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    Anthill Golf

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill.Rather than move the ball, he…
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    Huge Steak

    A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day…
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    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except...  no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session.  Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now?  (Y/Y)"

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...  Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...  Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...  Re-boot Washington D.C?  (Y/N)

File not found.  Should I fake it?  (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse.  Spank the cat?  (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one?  (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it?  (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations.  Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word.
"Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses.  Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.  The police are on the way.

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