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More Jokes

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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that,…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Say Something Positive

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Lawyer News

    "I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad…
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    Laws of Computing

    *Laws of Computing* * When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    More To Think About

    * Ever Wondered Why ....???? If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars…
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    Newlywed Repairs

    A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    The Foot Rule

    There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "Foot…
  • dog scotty

    Guard Dog Karate

    A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed,…
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    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…
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    English Errors

    English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except...  no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session.  Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now?  (Y/Y)"

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...  Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...  Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...  Re-boot Washington D.C?  (Y/N)

File not found.  Should I fake it?  (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse.  Spank the cat?  (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one?  (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it?  (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations.  Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word.
"Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses.  Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.  The police are on the way.

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