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More Jokes

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    Roast Woes

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    You Know You're Growing Old When...

    You know you're growing old when... ..you've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate

    Some of these are a little odd but they would definitely spice up dorm life. 16 Ways To…
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    Late Night Studying

    My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend…
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    Pierced Ears

    The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly…
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    Bloopers in the Media

    "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange…
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    Test Results Good News

    Joey walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer. "Dad," said…
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    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Dishwashed Verse

    Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it…
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    Online Support Group

    There's a new online support group for people who are addicted to the internet.It meets…
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    Definition of a Bar-B-Que

    Definition of a Bar-B-QueIt's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man…
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    Bunyan Fall

    My son, Bunyan, is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Bell Call

    The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take…
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    Light Confusion

    A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation. His mother, sitting in the…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except...  no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session.  Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now?  (Y/Y)"

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...  Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...  Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...  Re-boot Washington D.C?  (Y/N)

File not found.  Should I fake it?  (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse.  Spank the cat?  (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one?  (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it?  (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations.  Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word.
"Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses.  Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.  The police are on the way.

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