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    No. 5 Bus

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    A Deeper Problem

    Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he…
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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
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    Kid Comments

    * A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth ?"One lil' girl spoke up:…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Children's Message

    A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service,…
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    Travel Agent Stories

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :1. I had someone ask for an…
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    Dog Meters

    Two dogs out and about, walk over to a parking meter.One says to the other, "How do you…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…
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    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work

    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work...- You've read the entire Dilbert…
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    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except...  no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session.  Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now?  (Y/Y)"

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...  Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...  Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...  Re-boot Washington D.C?  (Y/N)

File not found.  Should I fake it?  (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse.  Spank the cat?  (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one?  (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it?  (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations.  Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word.
"Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses.  Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.  The police are on the way.

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