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More Jokes

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    New Brain Study

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Kids In Church

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.…
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    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    Murphy's Laws for Parents

    1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week. 2. Leak proof…
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    Signs of Aging

    You know you're getting older if:1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.2. Your try…
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    Moving Label

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    How To Photograph A New Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    Proud Grandmother

    An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old…
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    Welcome to the Neighborhood

    A family who had just moved into a new neighborhood was anxious to make a good…
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    What a Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key except...  no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session.  Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now?  (Y/Y)"

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...  Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...  Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...  Re-boot Washington D.C?  (Y/N)

File not found.  Should I fake it?  (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse.  Spank the cat?  (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one?  (Y/N)

WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

User Error: Replace user.

Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it?  (Y/N)"

Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...

If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations.  Doesn't it feel nice to have security?

Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word.
"Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses.  Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?"

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.  The police are on the way.

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