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More Jokes

  • car old

    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims these items, it really means: - rough condition = too bad to lie…
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    Address Change

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Boss and E-Mail

    I used to work for a multimillion dollar consulting firm doing desktop support. The…
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    Watch This

    A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet…
  • new born baby

    Does It Hurt?

    When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three…
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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Second Try

    The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who…
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    Talking in Your Sleep

    A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Grandpa And The Computer

    *Grandpa And The Computer*The computer swallowed GrandpaYes honestly, its true.He pressed…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
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    Are You a Policeman?

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover…
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    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
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    Pull Over

    "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day…
  • baby feet

    Tiny Rose

    A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife. They had always dreamed of having a…

1.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

2.  A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

3.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

4.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.  She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

5.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me, and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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