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  • chef bad

    You Know You Are a Bad Cook When…

    - You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. - You consider it a culinary success if the…
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    Career Cooling

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
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    Nail Biting

    Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it’s biting my…
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    Leak Repair

    My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending…
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    Small Town Justice

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.…
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    Roof Chicken

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
  • purse red

    Purse Contents

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Toucan Yell

    Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The…
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    Ship Movie

    On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid-ship so that it can be viewed…
  • turkey dinner

    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done...the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
  • nativity

    One Question Interview

    A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down.…

1.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

2.  A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

3.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

4.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.  She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

5.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me, and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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