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More Jokes

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    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
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    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00…
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    Government Pipe Specifications

    1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around…
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    Rustic Dining

    As a trail guide in a national park, Danny ate with the rest of the seasonal staff in a…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…
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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
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    Bigger and Bigger

    A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Sunday School Trap

    The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to…
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    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…

1.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

2.  A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

3.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

4.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.  She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

5.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me, and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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