logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
  • Default Image

    Q & A

    Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in…
  • jeans

    The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    This is a really long item, but well worth the read! The one present Roy Collette wasn't…
  • Default Image

    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…
  • snails

    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…
  • Default Image

    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
  • face stressed2

    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
  • Default Image

    Dynamite Bumps

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
  • Default Image

    Goober Skydiver

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…
  • Default Image

    The Rules of Bureaucracy

    1. Preserve thyself.2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.3. A penny…
  • Default Image

    Sunday Lollipop

    The boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in his hands. "Where did you get…
  • Default Image

    Mailbox Problem

    A friend asked me to replace the rotted post that her mailbox sat on, but to save the…
  • Default Image

    Special Message

    "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in…

The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.  Oxygin is pure gin.  Hydrogin is gin and water."

"When you breathe, you inspire.  When you do not breathe, you expire."

"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold down a deacon over a flame in test tube"

"When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

" The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader "

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity.  The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, I, o and u."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."

"For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days.  If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.  The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars,and eight cuspidors."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.  All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal.  The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"Liter: A nest of young puppies."

"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

Powered By JFBConnect