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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Lawnyer

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the…
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    Sam's Fishing

    A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish…
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    Pet Names

    Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!* Next weekend's Fasting &…
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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…

*Rules For Choosing A Superhero Name*

1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

12. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

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