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More Jokes

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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    Road To Easy Street

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted…
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    Take Two Instead

    A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk…
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    Baby Wrap

    Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
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    Johnny Hollers

    Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay everyone…
  • picture of for rent sign

    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
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    Goober Quotes

    I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes…
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    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Correction

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Fathering

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are…
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    Help Is Nearby

    My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic…

Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.

~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.

~ Your garage is larger than your house.

~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you down the interstate.

~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.

~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.

~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.

~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.

~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.

~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.

~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

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