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More Jokes

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    Time Off

    Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the…
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    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Notice

    PLEASE NOTICE:You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Death Statistic

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
  • hat in_the_cold

    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Public Servant Sentence

    "Write a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote, "The…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Signs of Aging

    You know you're getting older if:1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.2. Your try…
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    Unfinished Quest

    Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he called for Geronimo and…
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    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
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    Exam Help

    The final exam in electrical engineering worried my son, Don. On the last day of class,…
  • airplane trip from Indianapolis to Chicago

    Flight Time

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…

Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.

~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.

~ Your garage is larger than your house.

~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you down the interstate.

~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.

~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.

~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.

~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.

~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.

~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.

~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

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