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More Jokes

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    Wallet Tip

    Leaving a plush night club one evening, a miserly gentleman walked past the doorman…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    Dogs

    ** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Concert Dreams

    Not that I need reminding, but time flies much too fast. When I was a teenager, I used to…
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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    Hawaii Pronunciation

    Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument. "It's…
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    Sermon Feedback

    They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,…
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    Healthy Tourism

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
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    Morning People

    I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake."Hi!" exclaimed my peppy…

Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.

~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.

~ Your garage is larger than your house.

~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you down the interstate.

~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.

~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.

~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.

~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.

~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.

~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.

~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

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