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More Jokes

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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Aerobic Dismay

    Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I…
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    Car Pool Note

    A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting.He tried…
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    Comprehending Engineers

    Take One A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly…
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    Vacation Cut

    Before going on vacation, I decided on the spur of the moment to have my very long,…
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    Something For Mom

    The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Cow Legs

    Did you hear of the little boy who came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When…
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    New Windows Error Messages

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.…
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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    Penguin Breakdown

    There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As…
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    Dispatch Message

    One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence…
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    All Pro Turkey

    The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Letter Pride

    One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why,…

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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