logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

The Law of Parenthood

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    28 Ounce Water Pump

    A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump."A what?" says…
  • picture of priest

    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…
  • church people

    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
  • Default Image

    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
  • Default Image

    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
  • Default Image

    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
  • Default Image

    With Friends Like That...

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one…
  • Default Image

    Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left…
  • children play

    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
  • Default Image

    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
  • Default Image

    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
  • boy sitting

    3rd Grader's Explanation of God

    Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, California, for his third grade…
  • Default Image

    Cadet Sign

    When my brother was a cadet at the U.S. Air Force Academy, there was an overhead walkway…
  • river

    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
  • Default Image

    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…