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More Jokes

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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
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    Wake Up Call

    An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service…
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    Foreign Languages

    A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were…
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    The Bethelehem Innkeeper's Top 10 Excuses

    Here are the top ten excuses the Bethlehem Innkeeper gave for not giving Joseph and Mary…
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    Finish Paving

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
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    Convent Card

    As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I…
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    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Young Man's Disorder

    A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
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    Behavior Modification

    One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office.When I walked…
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    Rejection Rejection

    Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don't ever let it happen again. The next time that…
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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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