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More Jokes

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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    Dog Employee

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Deacon's Minutes

    The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:October…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
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    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
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    Business Report

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    Jonah Test

    A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School…
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    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…
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    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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