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More Jokes

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    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    The Littlest Informant

    As a recently divorced police officer, and new to the dating scene, I was thrilled but…
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    Boys In Hospital

    The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are…
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    Horseshoe Look

    One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    Wire Guard

    Gale-force winds and frigid temperatures had taken their toll. Snapped electric wires…
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    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Bridge Trouble

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up that reads "Low…
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    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…
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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Goober Nails

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    New Discovery

    The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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