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More Jokes

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    Keeping Warm

    (switch this one around to suit your favourite/favorite make) Chevy has added wires to…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Bungee Jumping

    Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Dear Abby, Dear Reader

    Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Tech Support Fun

    A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if…
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    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
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    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…
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    Shaving Comeback

    I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was…
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    Joey Sets The Table

    A certain man had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's…
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    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller"…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…
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    Sugar Worry

    A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and…
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    Fish Fight Story

    Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three…

There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood

- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

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