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    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car

    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car:- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
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    Vacuum Persuasion

    My sister has the courage--but not always the skills--to tackle any home-repair…
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    Van Gogh Family Tree

    After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had…
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    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Good Old Dave

    Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into…
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    The Difference of a Year

    Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first…
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    Beautiful Name Tag

    Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really…
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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
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    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…

"Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"

1. I swallowed the goldfish.

2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.

3. Does grape juice leave a stain?

4. The principal called...

5. But DAD says that word all the time!

6. What's it cost to fix a window?

7. Has anyone seen my earthworms?

8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

9. The dog doesn't like dressing up in your underwear.

10. I'm running away from home. (Well, maybe some days.)

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