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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Primative Tech Support

    The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Denture Feedback

    A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Remembering Names

    When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Birthday Greetings

    Seen on a birthday card.Forget about the past, You can't change it.Forget about the…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Shoe Follow

    Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!"

3. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

4. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."

5. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way!"

6. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

7. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep," Monty Python style.

8. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

9. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

10. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"

11. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

12. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

13. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

14. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"

15. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

16. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

17. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

18. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!"

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