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    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
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    4 Year Ceiling

    A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the…
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    Bystander

    Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    You Know You Are From Arizona When

    You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without…
  • woman

    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
  • a toy car

    Toy Disclaimers

    Honest Toy Disclaimers * No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister…
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    Morning Kiss

    A farmer and his wife had just awakened one morning to the crowing of their rooster.…
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    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…
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    Still More Bulletin Bloopers

    Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which…
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    Where did I come from?

    One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come…
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    Second Opinion

    A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattled…
An elderly woman died last month.

Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote,

"They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
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