1. Blaming your gas on me.... Not Funny
2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog you goober.
3. Taking me for a walk then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick balancing food on my nose.... Stop it.
5. Yelling at me for rubbing myself on your carpet. Why did you buy carpet?
6. Getting upset when I sniff crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered the handshake thing yet.
7. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you are not home.
8. Taking me to the vet for "The big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
9. Dog Sweaters
10. The slight of hand, fake fetch throws. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for you on the top of the food chain.