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More Jokes

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    PICNIC Problem

    Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed…
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    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out,…
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    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
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    $4,000 Hearing

    An elderly man inquired of his wife about a recent, large expense."Well yes I bought this…
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    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    The Big Sale

    It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local…
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    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Ahh, Tourists

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Useful Work Phrases

    1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. I like…
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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
1.  Blaming your gas on me....  Not Funny

2.  Yelling at me for barking.  I am a dog you goober.

3.  Taking me for a walk then not letting me check stuff out.  Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4.  Any trick balancing food on my nose....  Stop it.

5.  Yelling at me for rubbing myself on your carpet.  Why did you buy carpet?

6.  Getting upset when I sniff crotches of your guests.  Sorry but I haven't quite mastered the handshake thing yet.

7.  Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.  Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you are not home.

8.  Taking me to the vet for "The big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

9.  Dog Sweaters

10.  The slight of hand, fake fetch throws.  You fooled a dog!  What a proud moment for you on the top of the food chain.
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