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More Jokes

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    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
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    Mouth Surgery

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    Theories Of Cat Behavior

    Theories Of Cat BehaviorLAW OF CAT INERTIAA cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,…
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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
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    The Grandma Test

    I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Mommy Test

    I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
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    Lost Phone

    My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Owed to Spell Checquer

    OWED TO SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly…
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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    Duck Food

    Duck : Do you have any duck food? Storekeeper: No Duck : Do you have any duck food?…

giftTop 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

10) Hey! There's a gift.

9.) Well, well, well...

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1.) I really don't deserve this.

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