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  • flu picture

    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
  • card

    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
  • milestone

    Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric

    If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst…
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    Pit Falls

    This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was…
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    Flight Delay Announcement

    A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
  • bank

    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in. One robber rushes the teller windows,…

giftTop 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

10) Hey! There's a gift.

9.) Well, well, well...

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1.) I really don't deserve this.

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