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More Jokes

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    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager:Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
  • classroom

    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
  • bus interior

    Bus Pole

    While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole,…
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    Hurry Home

    It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a…
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    Understanding the Metric System

    1 million microphones = 1 megaphone1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles2000 mockingbirds = 2…
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    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
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    Deer Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. The…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
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    Found Money

    An elderly married couple who were childhood sweethearts and had settled down in their…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Isn't Aging Fun?

    Do you realize that the only time in our liveswhen we like to get old is when we're…

giftTop 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

10) Hey! There's a gift.

9.) Well, well, well...

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1.) I really don't deserve this.

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