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More Jokes

  • gas pump

    Cheap Gas

    When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had…
  • Dog Waits for Owner

    Missing You

    Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the…
  • garbage cans

    Career Choice

    A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows…
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    Hashing It Out

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a…
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    Heard By Tech

    Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave…
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    Golfer's Tale

    A group of golfers were telling tall stories. At last came a veteran's turn. "Well," he…
  • university

    Good Morning

    When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When…
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    Lawyer Choice

    There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…
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    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline9. "Hi, is this the chopstick…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    Fridge Magnet Smiles

    You have all seen those little hand painted signs hung in so many kitchens. Many are…
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    Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

    We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Fixed Sign

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

3. Someday, we?ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

4. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

5. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

9. I don't know what your problem is, but I?ll bet it's hard to pronounce.

10. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

11. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

12. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

13. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

14. No, my powers can only be used for good.

15. You sound reasonable ... time to up my medication.

16. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

17. I?ll try being nicer if you?ll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

21. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
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