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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…
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    Late For Class

    At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was…
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    You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When

    You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when ....... 1. A friend…
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    How To Interpret Employment Ads

    "Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "Join…
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    Half Joking Pastor

    Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the speakers…
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    Liberal Headlines

    If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal…
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    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
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    Wedding Vows

    A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows…
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    Farewell Song

    There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a…
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    What Time Is It?

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He…
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    Learned in Yale

    A wealthy contractor liked to know something about all the employees who worked for him.…
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    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25ยข ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
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    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

3. Someday, we?ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

4. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

5. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

9. I don't know what your problem is, but I?ll bet it's hard to pronounce.

10. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

11. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

12. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

13. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

14. No, my powers can only be used for good.

15. You sound reasonable ... time to up my medication.

16. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

17. I?ll try being nicer if you?ll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

21. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
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