Life should have a purpose, however meaningless.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
"The colder the x-ray table the more you body is required on it."
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
- John Steinbeck
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Onion Jokes: I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
"A pessimist counting his blessings: 10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ..."
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day."
- Irv Kupcinet
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
- Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work."
- George Burns
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
"A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes."
"Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids."