Entertainment

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CleanLaugh list member Richard Killey sent me this real life school note dilemma in response to the above list of actual school excuse notes.  He wrote,

Pastor Tim, Maybe you can use this one sometime.

"I can't hand in my essay because my mom burnt my only copy in the oven."

True story.  I saw it happen from my chair in the living room.

My wife was cooking supper when my daughter Stephanie (who was very excited about her creation) ran up and said, "Mom, look at this.  It is so good." and handed the essay to my wife who had oven mitts on.

The essay slipped out of her hands and fell inside the oven and touched an element.  Poof.

Richard Killey, Copyright 2002, Used With Permission

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One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Texas A & M."

Details

Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our fourth arrived, he was much larger.

After delivery, the medical team began testing and measuring my new son. The last reading came from a nurse, who seemed impressed as she read, "Weight, nine pounds, eight ounces."

My husband, a CPA in corporate finance who'd been quiet up to this point, could contain himself no longer.

"How about that!" my husband exclaimed happily. "It's 36.5% more baby!"

Details

I have never understood the thinking of people who want to make cars that fly. Of course, I understand the coolness of making a car fly, just not the desire to make a world where cars fly.  We have enough problems with people who can't drive on the ground and now we want to fill the sky with them?  That's just what we need, car wrecks raining down on us like meteorites!

I'm not totally rigid on this point though.  I think there is a compromise to be had.  Let's meet half way and let everyone have a personal blimp instead.  They look like they would just bounce off each other if they collided.

The only thing left to do would be to confiscate all the slingshots from every kid in the world.

 

Details
Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the paediatrician.

I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my son.

When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are allergic to?"  Casey nodded and whispered in his ear.

Smiling, the paediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me.

Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse.

Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual food-drug interaction my son must have.

When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle.

As per the doctor's instructions, it read:  "Do not take with broccoli."
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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

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