Monthly Archive

July 2004

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 59 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2627

Boss Prepared

As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed his secretary and asked her to break the news indirectly to his boss. His note read, "Failed in securing clien... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
2969

A Depressing Reality?

{mosimage}"What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14b) I don't know about you, but when I read that verse, I thought, how true and how depres read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
3552

THROUGH....the Valley!

A Hurting Word... So what's a valley? Here's three possibilities: "Red River Valley" - "Valley of the Dolls" - "Valley of the Jolly Green Giant" (Beware! Recognition of these titles "may" reveal you... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
3617

Time of Rest

Have you ever had a week that was so overwhelming that it made you physically tired? You just felt so drained and out of sorts that you were unable to function. Function to me means being able to type... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2504

Advertising Terms Explained

*Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the comp read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
6805

Missed Vulgarity - Some Were Not Amused

On July 14, 2004, I missed a vulgar word in the PearlyGates item I sent out. To apologize and clarify, I sent out the following note (be aware that the missed word appears in print twice below). Pas... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2657

Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh, (which I think went to the same place that socks go to when they disappear from the dryer) that I thought I ha... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4483

Slow-Driving Grandma

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
3755

Get With God

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God."Matthew 6:33 (KJV) Wow, what a voice! It was deep, melodious, and strong as one of my favorite singers sang from a gospel video. Actually, I had attended a live c read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2919

Lawyer Light Bulb

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Wh... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
5310

The Plumb Line Of God...How Do You Measure Up?

The Plumb line of God...How do You Measure up? Amos 7:1-17 Just before the death of actor W.C. Fields, a friend visited Fields' hospital room and was surprised to find him thumbing through a Bible. ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2918

Marine Comeback

During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from home. The drill instructor (DI) was getting irritated at having to keep calling my name. "You must have a lot o... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2785

Factory Supplies

At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with n... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3458

Don't Mess with Mama

A friend once told me about being hired by the government to study the bears in a certain area. He and another man set up a camp in the midst of known bear territory and began the work. They had bee read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2442

Kids View of Science

*Kid's View of Science*Q: What is one horsepower?A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.- You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how clos read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
3467

Pain and Peace!

A Hurting Word... Salt and pepper...ham and eggs...bread and butter...pain and peace? No way! If you've ever known emotional pain, then you know there's certainly no peace in it! True--but it can le... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
3563

Friends Come And Friends Go

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."  - Proverbs 18:24 Most of us have had many friends over our lifetime.  Some read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3256

Marriage and the Purposes of God

{mosimage}Lately, all across Canada, there has been a lot of debate about the same-sex marriage issue. Recently many of us attended rallies across the country to show our opposition to the proposed read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3304

Marriage Proposal

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.A student spoke up and said that he had recently... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Pastor Tim
3827

Shielded By His Wings

"He will shield you with His wings.  He will shelter you with His feathers.His faithful promises are your armor and protection."Psalm 91:4 (NLT) I am a mother of two and grandmother of four.&nbs read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3137

Bulletproof

The speaker at a bank's drive-through window had been broken for weeks, and the tellers had to resort to miming or writing notes to communicate with their frustrated customers. One day a sweet elderl... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3753

No Fire, Lightning or Thunder

"And There Was No Fire, Lightning or Thunder"2Kings 5:1-14 Saddam Hussein's photo is once again in the news. This time we see pictures of a cleaned up Saddam making his appearance in a court of law. read more..

Sandra Boyte
Pastor Tim
8055

More Than Words

What words can I useTo show my gratitudeFor all You have done for me?And what can I say,That will show, in some way,How You, Lord, have set me free? There are no wordsTo speak Your Grace,Your wonderf... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2531

Window Entry

A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a man come hurling headfirst through the window."What on earth are you up to? What just happened?" he demanded."I'm t... read more..

Cybersalt Shaker
Pastor Tim
5840

Oats and Brandy

At 4:10 am, on April 29, 1903, seventy to eighty million tonnes of rock slid off the face of Turtle Mountain, killing approximately 75 people and trapping many in the little town of Frank, Alberta.&nb... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2728

Restroom Bugs

I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the sanctuary is a restroom facility that is separate from other buildings. A common topic of conversation was a problem ... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
4104

Red, White and Blue Christians

Happy Birthday, America!   Bring out the red, white and blue EVERYTHING--flags, cakes, T-shirts, jewelry, decorations, and little-kid decorated wagons! We Americans love the Fourth, love Ameri... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2802

As It Lies

Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the score "all-square" at the 18th tee.Bill slices his tee shot way left, and the ball finally stops on the cart path... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3516

Everybody?s a Cowboy?

{mosimage}There’s cowboy music in the air. Literally. It’s coming from loudspeakers and fiddle players on the street corners. You can hear the commentator calling out the times for bull ri... read more..

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