Monthly Archive

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."... read more..

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful."I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey.""That's nothing," said the mounta... read more..

Grocery clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.... read more..

A gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.... read more..

My husband was telling colleagues about his involvement with our local YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses programs. His Indian name was Walking Deer, he told them. Our daughter was Little Fawn, ... read more..

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good for a while, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."- Mitch Hedberg read more..

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.... read more..

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,'I'll draw a sketch of thee,What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?'"'Hamlet' by Spike Milligan read more..

Then there is researcher Peter Fong, who has given new meaning to the expression "happy as a clam." The Gettysburg College biologist stumbled onto the fact that molluscs reproduce at 10 times their no... read more..

Farmer Jones's cows had recently stopped giving good milk. So, he went around asking for advice, and someone told him that happy cows give good milk. Every morning he would go out and tell some jokes ... read more..

Needless to say, one of the most successful inventors of all time was the man who invented the hay-bailing machine. He made a bundle.... read more..

He became a realtor because he had lots on his mind.She became a pharmacist because she was a real pill.He became an expolorer because he wanted to find himself.She became a baker because she loved lo... read more..

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.... read more..

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cr... read more..

"These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after." read more..

"The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth. Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression."- Robert Benchley read more..

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statisti... read more..

"The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns-- you only think you're covered." read more..

BAND PLAYING by Clara NettJAZZ MUSIC by Tenna SaxeCUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. BehrTHE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace CopeSCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove... read more..

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while late... read more..

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.... read more..

These cat puns are both horrible and painful! You were warned.What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? - A duck filled fatty puss!What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? - ... read more..

You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead.... read more..

A city slicker was driving through the country when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale."Afraid not," sai... read more..

"While working as a Navy nurse in a military hospital's emergency room, I was required to introduce myself by my rank and full name. I usually refer to myself as Ensign Mike Payne, but one busy day I read more..

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?A: The ultrasound people.... read more..

Songs From The Hospital Hit Parade~ "I'll be Sewing You"~ "Red Cells in the Sunset"~ "It's Spleen a Long, Long Time"~ "It Had to Be Flu"~ "On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma"~ "Gonna Take a Sentimental Gu... read more..

A young family, feeling cramped in their small apartment, went shopping for a house. The parents looked at houses for a month before deciding on a two-story house in the country. While driving to the... read more..

"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance." read more..

I was tidying up the house but finding the task difficult because of a pulled muscle in my lower back. As I was collecting the trash, something fell to the floor. Taking a deep breath and trying to ig... read more..