Monthly Archive

Q: What do you call a butler with no teeth?A: An in-dentured servant.... read more..

A cabbie is a fare-minded person.... read more..

There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elev... read more..

After 50 years preaching from the same pulpit, a much loved pastor decided to retire. Because the church building was classically elegant, the manse spacious and comfortable and the congregation large... read more..

If people who shun all meat are vegetarians, are cannibals then considered to be humanitarians?... read more..

If the front of your car says "DODGE," do you really need a horn?... read more..

Did you hear about the minister who visited different car lots every day in fulfillment to the Great Commission?He was looking for convertibles!... read more..

A man went into his psychiatrist's office and said: "Doc, you've got to help me. Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. "Another night I dreame... read more..

A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.... read more..

A young minister was filling in for Norman Vincent Peal at Marblegate Cathedral. Ascending the pulpit he looked at the magnificent colored glass windows and told the congregation: "You know, these bea... read more..

Clifford Clarke was a careless chap. Every hostess hated him. They feared for their precious porcelain and good furniture whenever this emulator of a china shop bull appeared. His reputation spread a... read more..

The cartoon characters were playing draw poker between the takes of the epic movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."Roger was the big winner but Mickey Mouse and Huckleberry Hound were doing well. Goofy, Ca... read more..

My wife asked me if I put the cat out.I said I didn't know it was on fire.... read more..

!!!Warning!!! These are amongst the worst puns I have ever sent out on the CleanPun list. Admittedly though, they are in a style that some love so if the first couple don't do it for you - just stop read more..

It was reported recently that a Washington bureaucrat sent a letter to the state of New Mexico requesting the number of cattle guards in the state. The state promptly responded and was told by Washing... read more..

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, ... read more..

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to... read more..

If Cher were to get cloned, would she be Cher and Cher alike?... read more..

A chicken crossing the road is "poultry in motion."... read more..

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked."Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?""Nothing special, sir," he replied."We just tell them straight out that they're going to die." read more..

Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?A. Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.... read more..

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of ... read more..

During the Revolutionary War, there was a small encampment of patriot soldiers the woods. Before they went to bed that night, they tied chickens (they were saving them for a special meal when needed) ... read more..

A very strange thing happened here in suburbia a few days ago. This past weekend, I noticed a neighbor of mine repairing his sidewalk. He had removed a number of broken sections (thanks to numerous tr... read more..

A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus. One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband was extremely dejected. The strong man asked him what he was going to do. The hu... read more..

cleanpun test... read more..

The Mayo Clinic, getting on board with today's diet and health conscious society, just changed its name.It's now the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.... read more..

Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care.But on that fateful autumn afternoon, i... read more..

A man comes into a restaurant at 6 o'clock in the evening."I want to have a coffee please." The waiter brings him the coffee, the man drinks it and afterwards, he orders another, then another, then a... read more..

I hang on to my old, beat-up appliances as long as they keep working. I thought my wife shared, or at least accepted my philosophy. But the other morning, I saw a note posted in front of my 15-year-... read more..