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    Analytical Gunfighters

    Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw…
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    Recruiting Crisis

    The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a…
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    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Soup Objects

    The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It…
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    Future Price of Roses

    The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to…
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    Gorilla Sundae

    A gorilla walked into a drugstore and ordered a $1.50 chocolate sundae. He put a…
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    One Question Interview

    A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down.…
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    Keyboard Switch

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…
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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Farming Dream

    The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a prospective student,…
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    Fed Up

    Long ago, on New York's lower east side, Mrs. Spinelli and Mrs. Goldberg were bragging…
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    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
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    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
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    Flower Request

    "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you…
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    D.C. Flyover

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time
he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear...."

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