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More Jokes

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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Duck Food

    Duck : Do you have any duck food? Storekeeper: No Duck : Do you have any duck food?…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
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    Hospital Regulations

    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while…
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    Misbehaving Phone Call

    Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.Two days…
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    Corporate Listening

    The company I worked for had an employee suggestion competition, the entire staff was…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
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    Photo Apology

    Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman…
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    The Night Before Y2K

    'Twas the night before New Year,and all through the nation,We awaited Y2K,the millennium…
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    Universal Solvent

    "The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school…
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    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time
he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear...."

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