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  • A picture of genetically modified corn

    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
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    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…
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    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Cancelling Cards

    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to…
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    Helping Mom

    A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
  • randall county sheriff badge

    Deputy Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
  • hawaiian church

    Comments Never Heard at Church

    1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed…

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There's no future in time travel.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Corduroy pillows -- they're making headlines!

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

Oh Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!

A good pun is it's own reword.

Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

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