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    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
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    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 1

    1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    I'll Call Back

    Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the…
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    Sick Call

    Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would…
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    Dangerous Criminal

    One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she…
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    Office Dog

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #1

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
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    Top Ten Gift Comments

    What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.10. "Well, well, well, now,…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There's no future in time travel.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Corduroy pillows -- they're making headlines!

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

Oh Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!

A good pun is it's own reword.

Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

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