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  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
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    Unknown Reindeer

    The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the…
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    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office.He told the…
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    Before And After Falling In Love

    B - You take my breath awayA - I feel like I'm suffocating B - She says she loves the way…
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    Ad Woes

    A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    Word Impatience

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
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    Bakery Robbery

    My cousin was behind the bakery's cash register one morning when a gunman burst in and…
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    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    What's for Dinner?

    What's for dinner? Can't eat beef......mad cowCan't eat chicken...... bird fluCan't eat…
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    Surprise Gift

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Long Living

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There's no future in time travel.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Corduroy pillows -- they're making headlines!

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

Oh Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!

A good pun is it's own reword.

Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

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