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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
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    Looking For Mike

    After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed…
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    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
  • doctor office

    Little Voice

    A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I've eaten something that…
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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
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    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
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    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Millionaire's Driver

    Millionaire: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Millionaire: I always call my…
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    Strangest Recording

    I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.It said, "You…
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    Prayers as Heard By Children

    Prayers as Heard By ChildrenFrom San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer…
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    Carpenter Request

    While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself…

~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

~ You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

~ When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

~ When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

~ While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

~ Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.

~ A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

~ Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.

~ Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.

~ Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

~ We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

~ I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

~ In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.

~ Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

~ Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

~ Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

~ Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

~ It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.

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