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    Signs of the Times

    In a Vet's Office:"All unattended children given free kitten"Lot outside Vet's office in…
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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    As Long As We Are One

    My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different…
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    Goober Dieter

    A goober was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    How Gevernment Works

    Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress…
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    Fishing and Sisters

    A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He…
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    One Call

    The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Herd Of Cows

    A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho," and went out walking with one of…
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    Dad Value

    A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The…
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    Ugly Baby

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've…

~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

~ You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

~ When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

~ When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

~ While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

~ Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.

~ A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

~ Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.

~ Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.

~ Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

~ We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

~ I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

~ In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.

~ Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

~ Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

~ Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

~ Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

~ It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.

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