More Jokes

  • post it_notes

    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Computer Support Woes

    Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee: *Note the word 'former'…
  • 50 percent

    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Number Eighteen

    A first time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
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    Death Statistic

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
  • picture of mom and child

    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    Missing Bags

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
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    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Department Baseball

    An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
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    Who Said That?

    If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're…
  • medical desk

    Doctor's Advice

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…

1.  The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2.  You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3.  The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

4.  There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

5.  People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

6.  If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

7.  The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

8.  You should not confuse your career with your life.

9.  A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

10.  When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.

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