logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

Top ten dad joke10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Buy A Verdict

    Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of…
  • Default Image

    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
  • Default Image

    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
  • card

    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
  • Default Image

    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
  • Default Image

    Glass Honesty

    As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need…
  • Default Image

    Help Wanted

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP…
  • gas pump

    Cheap Gas

    When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had…
  • Default Image

    Understanding the Metric System

    1 million microphones = 1 megaphone1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles2000 mockingbirds = 2…
  • school house

    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
  • Default Image

    Nephew Caddy

    My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Registration

    On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the…
  • bank

    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in. One robber rushes the teller windows,…
  • Default Image

    Soup Words

    It was a formal banquet. The minister had just finished saying grace when a waiter…
  • Default Image

    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…