logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

Top ten dad joke10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm OK,…
  • Default Image

    What It Means

    Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.She told the Census…
  • chickens

    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
  • men strong

    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
  • shopping

    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
  • Default Image

    Tennis Take On

    A manager has to take on some sport by his doctor so he decides to play tennis. After a…
  • Default Image

    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
  • Default Image

    Fan Help

    Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who helped me with chores around…
  • money

    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
  • Default Image

    Beautiful Name Tag

    Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really…
  • Default Image

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00…
  • Default Image

    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
  • snowman

    Learned From a Snowman

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " --It's okay if you're a…
  • Default Image

    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
  • Default Image

    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…