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More Jokes

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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
  • If General Motors had a car help line

    Car Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Pilgrim Church

    Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Basic Training

    For some recruits, there is nothing basic about basic training. It was clear that one…
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    Thoughts on Golfing

    A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can…
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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…
  • cards

    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
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    Too Late To Date

    An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no male…
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    Seniors' Special

    We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon,…
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    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
  • school-house

    Beginning School

    Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

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