More Jokes

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    Crocheted Dolls

    There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had…
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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
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    Name Please

    A county traffic policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.…
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    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
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    Travelling Too Light

    A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    Three Chairs

    A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, "I need a job and I think…
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    Charity Better than Expected

    Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were…
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    The Foot Rule

    There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "Foot…
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    Dead Horse

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
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    DIY Complications

    The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

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