How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
Happiness is a competitive advantage.
- From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
- In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
- Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
- From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
- In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. Three for $200,000.
- A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
- In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything: A calendar to remind him when payments are due."
"Join us at the church tonight for the hanging of the greens: they should have known better than to sit in the wrong pew."
Thanks to list member Clarice M.H. who told me that "The Night Before Christmas in Texas, That Is" was written by Leon A. Harris - a student teacher she had. Clarice wrote, "Knowing my fondness for this poem, (he) gave me a book of it which I still have. Harris copyrighted the poem in 1952. My book is dated 1977." Thanks for letting us know Clarice.
Then, list member Heather D. of Australia wrote,
"Pastor Tim, as there are a lot of subscribers to your lists in Australia, I rewrote the "Texas Christmas" piece. I have not requested permission from the writer - I don't know how to contact him - but I am sending this to you any way."
Heather has even supplied some definitions for us "up-over" types (I didn't even know I had a "ute"!) So thanks to Heather for her Australian adaption of Leon. A. Harris's "The Night Before Christmas in Texas, That Is"
Twas the night before Christmas, In Australia you know,
Way down on the beach, without any snow.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
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