As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, "Dogs are easily amused;" then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself!
My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year: only 15 to go.
I hate making spelling errors on Facebook; mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
The amount of sleep required by an average person is "five more minutes."
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford; then I'll move in with them.
"I have CDO; it's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order ... as they should be."
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!
Mary glared at me
Pa rumpa pum pum,
Me and my drum.
Did you know, chocolate makes your clothes shrink!?
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
No two things are the same, no matter how you look at them.
Regarding "Descriptions:"
This fact is clear to those who know it.
Regarding "Descriptions:"
Words are incapable of describing what I am about to tell you.
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
No two things are the same, no matter how you look at them.
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
Show me an honest man and I'll show you a man who tells the truth.