The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read...
MAIN ENTRANCE.
*Before and After Children*
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.
AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.
"Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"
1. I swallowed the goldfish.
2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.
3. Does grape juice leave a stain?
4. The principal called...
5. But DAD says that word all the time!
6. What's it cost to fix a window?
7. Has anyone seen my earthworms?
8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?
9. The dog doesn't like dressing up in your underwear.
10. I'm running away from home. (Well, maybe some days.)
These are real ads from a newspaper.
1. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer
2. AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
3. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
4. FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART DOG.
5. 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
6. TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, AUTO TRANS., EXCELLENT CONDITION - $6800
7. DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED
8. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG
9. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG
10. GERMAN SHEPHERD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
11. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
12. NORDIC TRAC $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE at:
13. BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
14. FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE.....BETTER BE A REWARD
15. HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT"
16. CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER
17. WHIRLPOOL BUILT IN OVEN -- FROST FREE!
18. '93 PONTIAC LEMONS - LOW MILES
19. KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.
20. TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT. SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
