Inspiration

Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain, "Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. It can see very little and can digest practically anything."

"Oh my," exclaimed one of the women, "wouldn't it make an ideal husband?"

Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying: "We make the best violins in Italy."

The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming: "We make the best violins in the world."

Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying: "We make the best violins on the block."

This teacher went into her classroom about fifteen minutes before the class was supposed to begin and caught a bunch of boys in a huddle on their knees in the corner of the room. She demanded of them what they were doing, and one of them hollered back, "We are shooting craps."

She said, "That's all right. I was afraid you were praying."

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about seven years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.

"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole."